Being Nice: To Those Intimidated and Silenced

I’ve been told in comments associated with a post in the O’Reilly Women in Tech series that I’ve ‘intimidated and silenced’ others, presumably because of my wicked, evil communication skills and general, overall not niceness.

Well, huh.

Do let me know if you’ve felt ‘intimidated or silenced’ by me in the past, and I’ll be sure to send you a warm glass of milk and a cookie.

Here, here’s a fluffy kitten to hold.

I am kitten hear me squeek

(image derived from photo by fieldsbh)

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24 Responses to Being Nice: To Those Intimidated and Silenced

  1. Bud Gibson says:

    I would actually prefer a copy of a book or a free gift certificate for a tech book.

    I’m always a little amazed that anyone can say they feel intimidated in electronic media. For the most part, I find people giving free reign to their id, not the opposite.

  2. Scott Reynen says:

    What kind of cookie? I’m only feeling intimidated and silenced if it’s chocolate chip.

  3. Shelley says:

    Bud, take your cookie and shut up ;-)

    Scott, chocolate chips require that I do more than intimidate and silence you–I have to permanently crush your hopes and aspirations. Have I have crushed your hopes and aspirations? Have you earned those chips?

  4. “Do let me know if you’ve felt ‘intimidated or silenced’ by me

    Umm, isn’t that something of a logical paradox? :-)

    Not technically, but it has that flavor.

    (I don’t feel intimidated or silenced by you – but there are people from who I’d view that sort of thing as bullies daring anyone to call them on being bullies).

    But if you could do so, imagine what industry movers-and-shakers can do :-(.

  5. Shelley says:

    Seth, no cookies for you. And give me back the kitten.


  7. Shelley says:


  8. dave rogers says:

    I’m eating your kitten.

  9. jeneane says:

    im afrad to lv my yardz.

  10. Shelley says:

    That’s MAH kitten! Spit ‘er out, Dave. Go gnaw Bodhi.

    Jeneane, I LURKEN N UR YRD!

  11. Kaf says:

    My, that’s some kitten you have there, Shelley.

    But, why is it looking at me like that? It’s sort of intimidating….

  12. Shelley says:


  13. Aruni says:

    Shelley – if someone is intimidated doesn’t that say more about them than you? I guess I don’t intimidate easily. I suppose if someone was threating to harm me or my family, I would feel intimidated but as they say ‘sticks and stones may break by bones but words will never hurt me.” And shall I add if I discover the words did hurt me, then I can go find a therapist and pay them to hopefully hurt less. :-)

  14. madame l. says:

    Yes, you’ve silenced me in the past and I expect you will continue to intimidate me as well. I, too, am afraid to leave my yard in Ekalaka Lake, Montana 59324.

    I like my positive chakra.


    Shelley, I mean no disrespect. I am just not so severe with my own kind/sex. We all have our own ways.

  15. Shelley says:

    Aruni, I really doubt I’ve intimidated anyone into silence. Or at least not intimidated silence. I’ve met a lot of pursed lips silence, complete with sniffs of disapproval given from long noses from which the people look down on my noisy, inelegant, brassy ways– but not based on intimidation.


  16. Amyloo says:

    I can’t get the hang of lolcat grammar, even after reading the guide! It feels like it’s somebody else’s family’s dialect of babytalk.

  17. Shelley says:

    There’s a guide?

  18. jeneane says:

    link to guide plz!

  19. Zo says:

    Click here. (I always wanted to write that.)

  20. SB says:

    That is one SCARY, EVIL-looking kitten.


    I’m outta here.

    [Thanks for the guide, Zo]

  21. Shelley says:

    I want to echo SB: thanks for providing a link to the guide, Zo.

  22. someone says:

    yes. you have. but i’m so intimidated i’m not going to say my name.

  23. Anna says:

    Um, how?

    I mean, wtf. Oh yeah – women are supposed to only be “nice”. If we’re not “nice” (i.e., if we’re not saying sh*t like “oh yes, of course you’re right and know so much more than I do on this topic.”), we’re intimidating and silencing others, or worse – we’re being “bitchy”.

    Pah. Be as “not nice” as you feel appropriate to the situation.

  24. Norman Walsh says:

    /me laughs. Try harder?