BURNINGBIRD
a node at the edge  


April 25, 2002
SensoryHeld Captive...

    I woke up this morning, got the kids out the door and, as they crossed the lawn to the bus, I stood staring out the front door, pretending to watch them but, in actuality, I was already gone. Taking a deep breath, I could smell it...a combination of fresh cut grass, wheat ready for harvest, newly turned soil and spring rain....life in all its olfactory glory.

So Sharon's morning goes as she stands at her door, captive to her senses.

We are a society that is progressively looking inward rather than outward. As we spend more and more time among concrete towers and experience more and more of the world through out computers, we're relying less and less on our senses, on all our senses. We are quite strong visually or aurally, but even that is becoming more selective. Cogito, ergo sum or "We think, therefore we are" is becoming "We think, more, therefore we are, more" and sacrificing much of our sensory selves to achieve this state.

I must confess that I am not an intellectual. To me, "I think, therefore I am" becomes "I think and smell and taste and hear and see and touch, therefore I experience rampant joy at the minutiae of endless and daily variety of life, of which I am just one part." I have no idea what that would be in latin.

And I am easily a captive to my senses.

A year or so ago I was walking with some people I worked with when several pigeons took off and started flying, as a group, around some of the buildings. I stopped walking and just stared at the display, calling out my appreciation of the flight to the people I was with. One of them returned with, "They're just birds. You've seen birds before, Shelley."

Yesterday when I walked to the subway I passed a few trees in downtown San Francisco and heard birds singing to the dawn and stopped, right there on the street, looking up at the trees and just listening to the sound. And as usually happens in these circumstances, some of the people passing me -- those who weren't on their cell phones, or hurrying past because they were late, or trying to walk and read the newspaper at the same time, or involved in intense discussions with another person -- also glanced up, trying to see what I was looking at.

(It's not very heartening to know that the majority of people around you think you're touched in the upper works because you're standing in the middle of the street staring up into the air, not looking at anything.)

And what of the subtler senses? Am I overcome by taste and touch and smell?

Years ago I watched a wildlife preservationist give a talk about birds, a flightless owl perched on his arm. I chatted with the person after the show and he moved the bird a bit closer to me to provide me a clearer view of the bird's eyes. When he did, I brought my hand up to touch it, whereupon the speaker drew back in alarm and exclaimed, "This bird is dangerous!"

"Do you always reach out to touch things!?"

Well, actually, yes I do. And it has been known to get me in trouble a time or two. It seems I haven't quite lost that childlike aspect of myself.

People rely on their sense of taste and touch and smell almost entirely when they're young, but seem to lose this sensory dependency as they get older. Right and wrong is explored first through taste and touch, trying to swallow everything at hand, trying to touch everything that's new -- in both cases pre-maturely aging their parents in the process. And when asked to try a new food, they'll sniff it first, wrinkling their nose and rejecting the food if the scent falls too far outside of the familiar.

Younger children prefer blander foods not because they lack sophistication, but because even the simplest taste overwhelms their unfiltered receptivity. Anyone exposed to babies know that anything within the grasp of an infant is first put into the baby's mouth, to be chewed on and swallowed if possible. I, personally, have been chewed by more babies than I care to remember, and that includes kittens and puppies in addition to human babies.

And be honest -- did you really believe your Older Significant Person when he or she said the fire or the stove was hot? The first time?

Survival dictates that we learn from our senses, quickly, until we're at an age of reason and can think our way out of troubles.

(With wars and crime and addictions to various materials, I'm not quite sure when age of reason will hit, but I have hopes for the future.)

As we mature, and rely on our senses less, we have to find larger and larger sensory inputs in order to break into the creaking, whirring, machines that are our minds.

We increase our use of spices as we burn our mouths with the hottest peppers and chilis, not stopping until we literally sweat from five star Thai food or five alarm chili. Why use one clove of garlic when we can use 40?

We use packaged apple pie smell and packaged lemon smell and packaged "Spring Fresh Scent" and so on, until our homes and our bodies reek of undifferentiated stink.

We buy books on how to touch each other, how to touch our children, and even the appropriate way to perform a handshake. For instance, I read that before going into an interview, always go to the restroom, wash your hands in warm water and then dry them completely. When grasping hand, do so with confidence, firm but not too firm. No cold and clammy hands. No weak and tentative grasp.

We think, therefore we are. Or the Postmodern equivalent -- it thinks therefore I am only if I recognize that I have the capacity of thought to appreciate that it thinks independent of its own capability of understanding that it can think without being aware of its own self and its own appreciation of self within a greater cosmic awareness.

Me thinks, at times, we think too much.

Isn't it nice when we shut down our minds and let our child out to play?

To breath the salty, weedy smell of freshly mown hay or the rich, fresh smell of huckleberry plants in the midst of tall green pines. To close eyes and drink in the scent of freshly baked bread, or clean laundery hung out to dry. To walk in gardens of lavendar and lilacs.

To taste a wild strawberry, still warm from the sun. To savor the sweet crispness of a fresh apple or the bite of good, sharp cheese. And chocolate. Mustn't forget chocolate -- the only taste known to break through even the most dedicated intellect.

To touch a stone worn smooth by flowing water and to feel its coolness and the softness of its surface. To hold sand in your hand and let it slip through your fingers. To face someone you love and move your hand slowly and gently down their face, from temple to chin, feeling the curves until you place two fingers lightly on lips soon joined to yours.


Posted by Bb at April 25, 2002 11:44 AM




Comments

Where did you eat five star Taiwanese food? My mother's a terrific cook, but I don't remember any particularly spicy dishes growing up.

Posted by: Andy Chen on April 25, 2002 08:02 PM

Sorry, meant Thai food. Will correct. Quickly!!

Posted by: Burningbird aka Shelley aka owner of this site on April 25, 2002 08:08 PM

Heh. When I first started dating my wife, she convinced her friends go to a local Taiwanese restaurant. She called me later that evening to inform me of her experience. I was puzzled and suprised. Where did she find a Taiwanese restaurant? Would the dishes be americanized?

The restaurant turned out to be Thai, not Taiwanese. No great loss, I suppose. Thai food is, after all, particularly tasty.

Posted by: Andy Chen on April 25, 2002 08:24 PM

Thanks for the great sensory journey. I would have said "sensual," but so many people take that word away from it's original meaning.

I too am aware of all 5 senses. The rich earthy scent of the earth after a spring rain. That soft warm scent of the summer and the rasping call of cicadas sweeps me back to the summers of my childhood, especially if you through in the sound of a baseball game on the radio. The crisp tang of the air in winter just before it snows. The warm luxury of my cat's fur as she sits purring on my lap. Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies or brownies - yum!

And I often hold food or drink in my mouth, reluctant to swallow it because I don't want the taste to go away. I'm usually still eating long after my companions are done.

Ah - I could go on and on!

Posted by: Kath on April 26, 2002 04:10 AM

A fellow sensory junkie http://www.wockerjabby.com/2002_02_24_jabby.pcgi#10190980

Posted by: Kath on April 26, 2002 04:14 AM

Damn that is deep. I am guilty of ignoring the simple pleasures of life and enjoying my senses. I think I need to change that, thanks for the eye opener.

Posted by: rev_matt on April 26, 2002 05:35 AM

I like the turn your weblog seems to be taking, Shelley. It makes me happy, and aware. Smoochies.

Posted by: Shannon on April 26, 2002 11:46 AM

To badly quote Warren Zevon:
"I'd rather feel bad than not feel anything at all..."

Barefoot walks in the forest. Walking down the road with eyes closed, swaying, fighting the urge to look. Moving through the house at night without lights, working from spatial memory and subliminal shifts in the blackness.

A blind co-worker lived next door to the radio station where we worked. I'd drive by and see his lights on, thinking he was home. Or off and I'd think he wasn't. It took great effort to realize I couldn't really know.

Posted by: Jerry on April 26, 2002 11:50 AM

The Zen phrase "beginner's mind" comes to mind at this point... or comes to sense... or something...

Beautiful, BB: just beautiful... Thank you.

Posted by: Tom Graves (xio) on April 26, 2002 12:52 PM

Reminds me of the night we spent the night lying on the cold December grass, watching the Leonids under a down comforter. It was... transporting...after a while, we forgot the house was there and we were in the wide open with nothing but the sky. My kids talk to their friends about it and still say that was the coolest thing we have ever done.

We have to raise our kids to be sensory junkies, too, so that we don't grow them too cerebral. My daughter is a natural...my son just needs some gentle prodding.

Posted by: sharon o on April 27, 2002 05:44 AM

One of them returned with, "They're just birds. You've seen birds before, Shelley."

Damn, Shelley, thanks for that. I'll second what Shannon said about the direction your blogging is taking lately.

(My own thing is a certain colour of green that somehow became a part of me when I was...uh...enhanced amongst some ancient trees one afternoon many years ago.)

Posted by: stavrosthewonderchicken on April 27, 2002 05:53 AM


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