Burningbird: Connecting

May 19, 2002

Connecting

I was surprised at the amount of in-person connectivity that occurs as a result of meeting people through the Internet. In comments attached to a previous posting, Community, Sharon mentions meeting her significant other online and Medley talks about meeting her husband through their mutual weblogs.

Kath states:

Something about meeting through the mind first rather than the normal route - meeting people face to face first - seems to make a stronger bond.

So much of what we are is communicated through our expressions, the looks in our eyes, the movement of our hands; stripping this away to letters on a screen and still being able to connect to people that strongly blows me away. I wonder how many webloggers have met their true love and closest friends online?

And if we don't connect physically, will the friendships fade in time?

Posted by Bb at May 19, 2002 02:03 PM

Comments

I know of many people who first connected online (and not through the 'internet personals' way.. but in bulletin boards, mailing lists, weblogs). When S and I were first getting together, I consulted with some people I'd gotten to know that I knew had met SOs online. When I announced our engagement on our journal site, I quoted a few of the encouraging words I got. That's available here.

I agree with Kath -- a meeting of the minds is extremely powerful. Of course, if there's no chemistry in person, you're screwed, but if there is, then my opinion (biased though it is), is that a relationship founded on a mutual exchange of ideas and other heady intellectual stuff will be extremely well-founded.

Posted by: Medley on May 19, 2002 04:06 PM

"no chemistry in person"

That's why (if you are *looking* for an SO) you need to meet sooner rather than later. (I did meet my fiance online.)

If you aren't looking, no need to urge an early meeting.

Posted by: Anita Rowland on May 19, 2002 04:41 PM

My wife and I met online back in 96 and it was truly a meeting of minds that made it work. We talked (email/chat/phone) for several months before we met in person, and the chemistry fortunately was just right. I would agree that if there is an intellectual repoire then your relationship has a much better chance of surviving the rigors of modern life.

Posted by: rev_matt on May 20, 2002 05:57 AM

It took 2 years + 8 months for D and me to finally get together. All our doubts disappeared when we saw each other face to face for the first time. I don't know what others in the airport thought as we held each other in the airport terminal *I swear the air around us crackled* but we almost fell down, our knees were shaking so. The two hour ride to my house was endless, during which we noticed that the streets here sparkling beneath us. Lived here for 7 years now and that was the first time I noticed that.

I've never felt that before and never will again....a true connectivity, mind, body and soul...and we both knew it was there the first time we talked online, from moment one.

Now if we didn't have 2300 miles separating us currently, we'd be just fine. grr...

Posted by: sharon o on May 20, 2002 08:43 AM