R-E-S-P-E-C-T

A few days ago I wrote in a posting that I was taking a short break from weblogging. This is not a big deal. I take breaks, you take breaks, we all take breaks.

Weblogging isn't a job or a marriage or parenthood whereby we're committed to supporting it 100% of the time. Weblogging is a hobby. Something we do because it gives us pleasure, allows us to be heard, enables communication with others, sell books, products, services, explore technology - pick one.

If you've checked out the comments for this posting, titled "Burnt to a Crisp", then you'll see that some folks think I was taking a break because I expressed the views about the SFSU demonstration and the Blog Burst and then didn't want to stay around to take the heat. I've commented back - most of which was pulled because I spoke from anger. A great deal of anger. Time to stop speaking from anger.

I was taking the break because I'm in the process of closing down a corporation I've had for over six years, as well as preparing for a move 2000 miles away. These are time consuming events, as is the book writing. In addition, I wanted to spend some time playing around the neighborhood so to speak - play tourist.

However, my reasons for wanting to take the break are not why I'm writing now. I'm writing now because I shouldn't have to provide a reason why I'm taking a break. I feel I have to now because I'm kind of a proud person, and I really don't like people believing that I would run from a fight. This was something I just couldn't blow off.

Respect. It all comes down to respect.

This weekend I've been thinking a lot about respect. I've thought about some of the things people have told me in the last few months - some based on anger, some based on kindness, but all intertwined with this concept of respect.

Recently someone who I consider a very close friend told me that I wear my heart on my sleeve - meaning that whatever I think and feel goes online for all to see. Well, this is true to some extent. However, there is more to this iceberg than what shows above the water line, so to speak.

Regardless, this statement gave me pause - there's that respect thing again. Am I coming across as this whiney thing that starts a fight, and then tells those who show up to stop picking on me? I would be appalled if this is true, because that's not how I am. That's not how I want to portray myself.

I'm stronger than that. I'm better than that. If I am portraying myself as this emotional wimp, then I've screwed up royally in how I communicate. And if I've lost respect because of what I write, then I have to seriously take a long look at my writing, and the value of this weblog.

Posted by Bb at June 02, 2002 10:23 AM